Friday, March 15, 2013

Torn (Flesh?)

Okay, so... I was scrolling through my newsfeed on Facebook this morning and a friend of mine mentioned that she was interested in finding some of these...



Etsy to the rescue!

Now understand, I am not the garden ornament type. I'm not a fan of woodland animals peeking out between my hostas and lilies—unless they're breathing. There are no resin angels or fairies doing their thing (whatever that may be) in my garden.

But these aren't your everyday cartoon frog cast in cement...



They're positively whimsical, yes?

They're a touch pricey, but I love 'em. And the kidlets are kidlets—it's not like they're going to get freaked our or anything, they love zombies, and they take things in stride. They think zombies are gross and fascinating in that manner of boys when it comes to anything possibly described with the adjectives disgusting, slimey, and/or barf-tastic.

I'm hovering oh so close to clicking that purchase link...

But...

See, the thing is, it's 100% an impulse buy. And it's not like Mr Lannis is going to balk and think I'm crazy (he married me, remember? He's well aware of the insanity. Maybe he thinks it's endearing or some garbage... I'm still confused...)

No, it's more that we moved to this house almost three years ago, and I'm, well, torn...

Yes, torn.

Torn between trying to appear respectable (at least for a little while, in our relatively new town), and admitting that we're the oddball weirdo hicks on the corner...

Realistically, though? The weird is going to leak out eventually... and it usually makes a mess... (heh.)

It's March. In Canada. Gardening season doesn't start for (at least) another two months (le sigh). No need to make any rash decisions—and if I wait a while I can at least pretend it's not an impulse buy, right? Right?

Right.

And as much as Mr Lannis is my grounder, I'm fooling myself if I think he's not going to go apeshit with glee at the thought of unsuspecting dog walkers catching sight of a zombie gnome by streetlamp light...

(He's fun like that.)

This same friend has mentioned on her Facebook post that she's looking to attract the right kind of people in her own neighbourhood, and that these gnomes will help "fend off the nincompoops."

Best. Pitch. Ever... Mr Lannis will totally buy that... (heh.)

Wish me luck...

2 comments:

  1. ALSO!

    You can make sure your zombie gnome (handless or not) is very, VERY prominent when your annoying neighbourhood garden know-it-all starts her recurring visits in the spring.

    I literally can't wait until she shows up again!

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  2. See, now? Now I NEED an army of these to hide in those day lilies she INSISTED I was massacring by planting so late... zombie gnomes prospering in the foliage... yes...

    ReplyDelete