Friday, May 17, 2013

The Grumpy Lei

It stands to reason that if you know me on Facebook you're subjected to far more weirdness than what is encapsulated in this here blog.

Frightening thought, yes?

My theory is that blogging actually works against my low nonexistent impulse control... it takes a bit of forethought and time to put a post together. Whereas on Facebook, uploading an oddly captioned quirky pic for no particular reason is far easier and more immediate...

Case in point: I have a Grumpy Lei.

To clarify: said lei is not grumpy itself, so much as I wear it when I'm grumpy. And consume booze. Makes the grumpy mood melt away. Could be the lei, could be the booze. I'm not exactly splitting hairs over here...

Last week I had a sudden grumpy streak, which was directly related to hunger. I was hangry, really.

So I posted this photo on Facebook with the caption, "Dirty, grungy, & grubby from yardwork... And then hangry because it's almost past my dinnertime... New solution: donning a lei & having a cosmo with pizza dinner (& laughing at myself, natch)... Why?! BECAUSE I CAN, THAT'S WHY! Will report effectiveness of proposed solution at a later time..."

It was an attempt to laugh at myself, and not take myself too seriously. It worked.

I'm not an overly grumpy person. People would probably call me weird spastic before grumpy, but the word choice is up to them, ultimately.

Point being: it's really hard to stay grumpy with a good lei. (<-- My inner 14 year-old-boy is killing himself laughing right now. Yes, I really do find this line that funny. ::snort::)

I enjoyed this lei (::gigglesnort::), so much so that I'm promoting it to Drinking Lei. As in: I will be wearing it this summer on the front porch as I consume alcohol, because I can...

Mr Lannis is thrilled with this idea, I assure you. (<-- Blatant lie.)

But booze tastes better while wearing this lei. Truth.

To recap: it doubly fights bad moods while making alcohol even tastier. This I declare.

And part of me really wants my kids to grow up remembering their eccentric mother insisting on wearing a lei on the front porch. Possibly intoxicated.

Again... I'm all for screwing up my kids in an organized fashion...

(I already can't wait: all those neighbours moving into the new builds are going to be scandalized. I'm going to be so fucking popular! BAHAhaha!)


  1. I dress up when I don't want to clean. maybe I'll do a post about it...I have a few photos too!

  2. I have been known to wear a fairly inappropriate tiara often but no use just sitting in the front yard. The neighbours already know I'm cracked but I feed them so...

  3. EricisnotagiantsquidMay 17, 2013 at 2:38 PM

    So I read a post about boobs. This one is about booze. I really only see that you have two options for the next post. It's either boots to keep the alliteration going or a story about giant robots here to take over the world. Seriously. I'd totally come back for either of those.

  4. DING! DING! It's about robots!

    No, sorry, Monday's post is totally about boobs. Still alliteration, though... (though now I have to go check to see if Tuesday is about booze, because that would be an interesting pattern in my subconscious, yes?)

  5. Dammit. Tuesday's about mustaches. Boo...

  6. EricisnotagiantsquidMay 17, 2013 at 7:31 PM

    Boooooooooo...ooooobs. I guess that's fine. Boobs are pretty awesome. They are useful as well as decorative.