Friday, November 22, 2013

Day in the Life

Recently a friend of mine (who shall remain nameless—she knows who she is and can forever live in private shame for her actions, heh) asked me what I do all day.

What I do all day?

What I DO all day?


No, I'm not insulted. I can get defensive as much as the next non-stop housewife, except, well, I had a hard time answering this question. At all.

It's true.

At the time I could only blink blink blink in response, because my initial thought was, "well, you've finished the ginormous refinishing project. You're almost finished painting the living space. You're not exactly writing... she's right... what do you do...?"

And I understand the question was directed less at the finite tasks and more at the repetitive must-happen-every-day bullshit of housewifery (that's a technical term, by the way). And regardless of the fact that clearly it all gets done eventually (usually immediately before it's time to happen again... ugh), I found myself wondering in mild am-I-suffering-some-kind-of-amnesia horror... what do I do all day?

Must be time for another Day in the Life post!

This time I didn't do the careful selection of a "good" day to write this post. Usually when it comes to DitL posts I gravitate to days that look like any other—they are filled with those perpetual chores and could pass for any given day, thus representing the whole at large, despite some weekly discrepancies.

Nope, this time I woke up, decided to keep the log, and away I went.

Willy-nilly fly by the seat of my pants! WhooOOOOooo!

Exciting, right?

I suppose what I'm saying is that this particular day is yes, a typical could-be-any-day day, but at the same time it's not one of the days when I get much done around the house. I barely sit down (except during my appointment or driving, it would seem) but there is barely any housework happening. Um... so I guess I'm saying it could be worse? Yeah...

Day In The Life - November 18, 2013

6:07 - Wake. Look at clock. Remember alarm goes off at 6:20 and berate myself for waking one minute earlier.

6:20 - Shut off alarm. Get out of bed. Wash, brush teeth, whip greasy hair into a braid to pretend it’s not wash day and I don’t get my shower until later.

6:36 - Chase Minette around in the dark because Mr Lannis is sleeping and she’s snuck into our bedroom when I opened the door—she’s used to not having him around after the week he was gone hunting.

6:40 - Turn on lights and unlock front door. Sort laundry (two loads). Boil kettle. Turn on laptop. Start tea.

7am - 7:50 - Feed cat. Dick around on Pinterest for 20 minutes (seriously, I’m never on there that early), then realize I’ve dicked around on Pinterest for 20 minutes and get to work. Empty dishwasher. Make kid lunches. Put away clean dishes from sink. Switch laundry loads.

7:50 - Remind cat I've fed her. Microwave rice heat bag. Pour tea. Grab banana. Give Lego Magazine subscription renewal card to R [almost 8 y/o], and have him put it by the door where we won’t shouldn’t forget to mail it today.

7:55 - Sit down on chair. Begin this list. Eat banana. Start writing grocery list, meal plan for the next week, and Mr Lannis’ Honey Do list (swag kitchen table’s light fixture; put up Christmas lights; drill new screws into two kitchen chair seats).

8am - Check email. RSVP to a birthday party for L [6.5 y/o]. Begin emailing auntie about the quandary of sewing project fabric accumulating. (Her organizational guess is as good as mine: I'm of the mind that it breeds on its own in the dark of the closet.)

8:20 - Daycare charge arrives. Boil kettle for oatmeal for three kids. Remind cat I've feed her (seriously, Minette! My swirling a finger in your food dish doesn't make it any fresher, but you seem to think so... WTF?).

8:25 - Get back to emailing my auntie on my lack of fabric organizing skills.

8:28 - Pour milk onto L’s cereal. Fill empty oatmeal bowls to soak. Pour more tea. Nuke rice bag again. Stare aggressively at a strange dude parked across the street—he’s just staring at our house, and I have too many kids kicking around to feel comfortable with some weirdo casing the joint and thinking he’s unnoticed. He drives away.

8:32 - Add to this list. Remember to hit send on email to auntie, as I’ve walked away from it three times. Send this link to Sandi at The Mrs as I’ve discovered we can’t even use the excuse of crappy Canadian climate to not grow veggies in the winter (some over-achieving Ontarian ruined that for us. Effing peachy).

8:38 - Import photos from camera (Mr Lannis’ hunting trip) and cell phone (our recent jaunt with Auntie Princess to Reptilia). Upload some pics to the photo processing website for pickup later today (R is going to do a mini-project about Mya the mango sprout, seeing how we already have the pics and dates, and his class is focusing on plants right now).

8:40 - Get sucked into Facebook (suck... face... heh). Upload pics. Tell kids to tidy up the toy area.

8:59 - 9:45 - Realize what time it is. Turn off heat. Hustle kids into outdoor gear, change into jeans. Dig through winter gear drawer to find the “perfect” toque for L (where is the toque? Why can’t they stay where they’re put? WTF is wrong with toques in this house?!). Put on my own coat/neck warmer/toque/boots/mitts combo, as well as L’s backpack. Hustle three kids outside and walk to school. Remember to mail Lego magazine subscription renewal card (it’s free! Check their website!). Meet my friend Miss B’s group walking to school and head there in a big group (seriously, nine kids and two adults kind of big). Drop off kids at school; check Lost and Found with Miss B (seriously, WTF is going on with the toques and how can they disappear?!), walk home.

9:45 - 10am - Put on kettle for mocha. Put away oatmeal, honey, tea, etc, and get out mocha fixings. Wash last night’s dinner pan left to soak. Put breakfast dishes into dishwasher and wipe table (how three kids manage to spread crumbs across six places is beyond me). Eat last of banana bread (forgot to feed myself oatmeal this morning with the kids). Lament that Mr Lannis is still sleeping, because I want to shower. Get out red vinyl tablecloth with white snowflakes (not exactly Christmas-y, but wintry decor, for sure). Mix mocha. Sit down and update this list, and check on pics uploaded to Facebook.

10:08 - 10:45 - Mr Lannis is up! Chat.

10:30 - Receive call from L’s teacher, re: volunteering tomorrow.

10:45 - Log into Blogger, realize I’ve scheduled that post for tomorrow, not today, and it doesn’t need to be posted to Facebook. Cool.

10:48 - Remember to tell Mr Lannis that his mom wants us to go to her place for dinner on Saturday. Dick around online some more.

10:55 - 12:20 - Shower. Wash hair. Blow dry hair (it’s winter weather in Canada, even without snow).  Dress. Rotate laundry loads. Grab materials, get in van, and head to an appointment. Discuss bidness. Text findings of meeting to Auntie Princess.

12:20 - 2pm - Run through Tim Horton’s drive thru for a muffin and a mocha because I’ve forgotten my lunch. Go shopping; grab a few items we need to tide us over until grocery day (Thursdays); and some items for R’s upcoming birthday party sleepover. Pick up developed photos at another place. Then get back into the van.

2pm - 2:15 - Drive to the post office to pick up a parcel. Wait in line. Wait... wait... wait... (Yay. They’re training someone. It’s my lucky day).

2:25 - 3:15 - Come home, unload van. Discuss appointment’s findings with Mr Lannis. Chat until it’s time to head to the school to get the kids. Call family doctor’s office, sit on hold for fifteen minutes while putting away shopping, eventually arrange appointment for next week. Get winter gear on (coat, neck warmer, toque, boots, mitts, sunglasses—yes, sunglasses) to walk to school.

3:15 - 4:15 - Meet Miss B and walk to the school together to pick up kids. Check lost and found again. Chat with parents in school yard. Pick up five kids and head home. Get mail (another parcel pick up notification).

4:15 - Turn on heat. Boil kettle for hot chocolate. Unpack kids’ lunches. Have kids put away their snow gear. Help R begin his plant project on our mango sprout. Fold laundry.

4:30 - First after school care charge is picked up. Chat with parent. Continue folding laundry and directing R in his schoolwork.

4:45 - Referee kidlets downstairs. Tears, aggressive behaviour, and a time out.

4:53 - Other parent arrives to pick up last two kids (uh, except mine). Discuss behaviour of one in time out. Purchase charity lottery ticket.

5pm - Start dinner. Pasta, sauce, and carrot sticks (Mr Lannis is on afternoon shift). Write out spelling word practice for two kidlets. Fill out paperwork for school. Listen to L ramble about books he wants from the Scholastic book order catalogue (no dice, dude).

5:30 - Cut onion and brown ground beef for slow cooker chili for tomorrow—I’ll be volunteering in L’s classroom and will appreciate dinner waiting for me. Eat standing up while prepping tomorrow’s dinner. Rinse dishes and load dishwasher. Partially prep school lunches for tomorrow (crackers in tubs; refillable drinking boxes filled and ready to go).

6pm - Help L [6.5 y/o] open a Playdoh container. Have the boys show me what they’ve made. Nuke rice heat bag. Fill my glass of water. Send boys upstairs to put away their laundry, then have them practice their spelling words. Check email. Debate buying this Lego Play Book from Book Depository. Reply to a friend on Goodreads. Pay gas bill. Fill out benefits reimbursement for Mr Lannis’ recent appointment.

6:40 - Have R tell me there’s cat puke upstairs. Whee...

6:44 - Ignore cat puke. Dick around online instead... online banking, checking blog stats (hey! New Google Salad entry: Kijiji troll bots), begin to transfer this post to blog (it begins life as a word processor document).

7:15 - Remind boys it’s almost time for bed, give the ten minute warning that tidy up time is approaching. Gather rice heat bags to nuke and put as warmers in their beds.

7:20 - Tell boys to settle down as they’re beginning to get rambunctious (read: annoying).

7:30 - Send boys up to put on PJs, brush teeth, and floss. Go upstairs, clean up cat puke. (Whee...). Wash my face, and brush hair and teeth. Set out boys’ clothes for school tomorrow. Set my own clothes in the second bedroom (Mr Lannis will be sleeping in. I hate afternoon shift). Remind Minette that I don’t want her sleeping on my clothes. Water upstairs plants.

7:45 - Story time. The Rithmatist by Brandon Sanderson.

8pm - Say goodnight to boys, return downstairs. Nuke my own rice heat bag (I perpetually sit on it all winter). Clear up any accumulated mess in the kitchen. Feed cat (yes, again). Dick around playing games on Facebook (Candy Crush and Farm Heroes Saga... yes, I have issues).

8:30 - Turn on TV (yes, first time today). Watch three episodes of The Mindy Project while hand sewing L’s monkey hat (the fleece lining has come apart again—the kid is so hard on things).

 9:45 - 10pm - Turn off TV, turn off lights. Shut down computer. Lock doors. Head upstairs. Brush teeth again with super-flouride-mega-ultra paste. Read a few pages of Neil Gaiman’s American Gods. Set alarm, and turn off light.



  1. This is not the first Neil Gaiman book that Leslie has read. Please tell me so.


    (pant, pant)

  2. Um... yes, yes, it IS the first Gaiman read... he's been on the radar for years and I'm just getting to him now.

    And loving, of course!