Friday, November 8, 2013

Dear Judy: Thanks, but no thanks.

Today’s blog post is brought to you by solicitors (one of my favourite things—not), and my love-hate affair with Kijiji.

Once upon a time I wrote a rant about soliciting. I also have multiple rants about Kijiji—which, at turns can be both excellent and vexing... all depends on the day, really.

Today it’s the latter... with a dose of soliciting. And because I make it a habit not to interact with trolls, I’ve decided to expel my frustration here—because what good is having your own blog if you can’t vent, am I right? I mean, it is my corner of the Internet, I’ll do as I please, thankyouverymuch.

Granted, this lady isn’t exactly a troll, but she’s pretty damn close to the line in my estimation. Imagine my displeasure as I sat down to read my email and eat my lunch, to discover someone had replied to my ad for after school care with an Avon proposition...


I'm still unsure how an after school care ad screams, "I want to work for Avon!"
Also? It's two words. After. School.

The flood of rage, guys. Flood. Of. Rage.

And for multiple reasons...

First, Avon as a company irks me due to its solicitous nature—if I wanted your product, I’d be coming to you, not being bombarded by magazines on my doorstep. I’m a big fan of personal space, and when I’m at home, that personal space is my entire property.

Yes, I’m an antisocial bitch. I’ll own it.

If a catalogue were to show up in my mailbox, well, that’s one thing. Don’t drop one on my doorstep—I consider that littering.

Second, that Judy here might feel the need to solicit me via Kijiji is insulting—clearly I am advertising my own business, why do I need to become an accessory to hers?

That she’s judging that since I work from home I must have free time to hawk Avon wares is offensive, and doubly so since she’s a fellow woman—is she not aware of the multitude of tasks undertaken daily by a stay-at-home-mom? Why the hell does she think I’d have time for that, especially since I clearly take in extra kids?

My “free” hours are the ones where the kids are in school. This means my mornings and evenings are chock full of kids.


Not to mention the fact that those “free” hours are bombarded with everything that running a household entails—an exhausting list I won’t bother itemizing here.

I mean, I suppose I should be flattered that she considers me supermom and able to handle the extra workload without a sweat, but... well... let’s just say I’m not feeling flattered so much as violated.

Yes, violated.

Because if I was interested in becoming a sales partner (or whatever Avon’s particular terminology might be) then I’d probably reply to whatever Kijiji ad Judy has undoubtedly posted soliciting potential Avon candidates.

Guess what... I didn’t.

Because I'm not interested.

And now, as I sit here dropping salad down my sweater (I’m not a pretty eater, sorry), I’m subjected to indigestion thanks to Judy’s ambushing proposition, because SOLICITORS MAKE MY BLOOD BOIL.


Truth be told, I pity Judy. She’s mentioned that I have potential customers coming to me, when clearly she’s had to resort to emailing random child care ads on Kijiji because she herself is struggling to find people interested in her product, or possibly she doesn’t understand her own business strategy enough to make decent sales...

You see, Judy doesn’t seem to understand that my clients come to me for child care (read: not Avon products). I’ve maintained an ad for more child care clients because legally I have space available for that service—I’m not desperate to fill those spots, but someone in our area might be desperate to find a child care solution, so my offer is out there. Perhaps I can help them, as this is the service I offer.

Judy, though, has made the mistaken assumption that these clients would also want Avon products, when up until this point there’s nothing to indicate that that may or may not be the case.

Personally, I operate under the assumption that if you’re coming to me for child care services (as advertised), you’re probably only interested in child care services—and not, you know, being guilted into taking the Avon magazine being shoved into your hand.

Either way, if my clients wanted Avon products, they’re welcome to find it somewhere else.

I also find it insulting on behalf of my clients and, well, basically anyone potentially interested in purchasing Avon products, that Judy here is operating under the assumption that (A), my clients are all women, and that (B) only women might be interested in Avon products.

Judy, girl! I’m beginning to see why you’ve had to resort to almost-blind soliciting of Kijiji posters!

Hell, if I really wanted to pick apart Judy’s assumptions I could point out that she’s assumed (rightly, yes, but still assumed) that I’m female. How does she know that I’m not a stay-at-home dad who’s providing child care services? There’s nothing in my ad to indicate either way...

Hm. I can see Judy and I wouldn’t get along very well. It’s probably a good thing I don’t take her up on her offer...

I’m not big on blanket generalizations—I mean, I can step wrong as quickly as the next person, but by and large I prefer to err on the side of not pigeonholing my clientele, or, well, anyone else for that matter...

Thanks, but no thanks, Judy. I’m most definitely not interested.

And all that’s without ranting about Avon’s perfumey mess of signature products, or pointing out that perhaps Judy become acquainted with a period, you know, since she's resorting to cold contacting people via written correspondence... oy.


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