Friday, April 12, 2013


In my endless travels of cyberspace, I’ve met up with some pretty great people over the years, and one of the more recent would be the courageous and honest Kelly, over at The High Flying Adventures of Captain Grief. She’s lost her spouse, and her blog is where she and her alter ego (Captain Grief) share the pitfalls, trials, and humour that comes with the territory—a place where she can vent, and celebrate, and heal. She’s funny, and sincere, and real, and doesn’t sugar-coat life.

In short: she’s awesome.

Having been forced to eat a couple of life’s shit sandwiches, I have a good understanding of where she’s coming from. Our journeys are very different, but the territory that is grief and coping are the same.

It’s why I’m a terminal realist, after all.

And she’s reminded me of one of my favourite quotes I first discovered on Pinterest.

Guess what? Sometimes the universe shits on you for no reason. It just does. Shocker, right?

Not everything that happens to you in life is by choice, and yet how you view those events certainly is.

Do you want to be that person who is pitied by everyone because you’re perpetually dwelling on how horrible things are? Or do you want to admit life never goes as planned, be honest with yourself and retain your ability to laugh?

And screw other people and their projected opinions—ask yourself what you want to model for yourself... for your children.

None of us choose the nasty trenches we must wade through, but we can choose to be survivors.

Life is messy, and it’s never perfect. Anyone who says otherwise is lying.

It’s okay to find humour in unexpected places.

It’s okay to rationalize and realize that there are others who are worse off than you, even though it’s difficult to imagine at times.

It’s okay to grow stronger, and know that you will be okay no matter what.

I’m not saying you can’t have bad days. Definitely have bad days. Own them. Wallow in them from the depths of your soul to the edge of your fingertips.

For sure, immerse yourself in them when you need to—it’s an integral part of coping—throw yourself into self-pity and craptastic ugly, get it out of your system, then remove yourself from it with the same force, because you know: this will not last.

Dabble in self-pity, then choose to discard it. Renounce it for your own health.

Be strong. You have the ability to surprise yourself. Trust.

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