Monday, April 8, 2013

Corn Plant: update

Remember this post? Yeah. Update.

So my jackass of a corn plant flowered. Like so:

And you know what I completely forgot?

I'm allergic to goddamn perfume. 

Yes. Pretty much all perfumey scents—manufactured or natural—have conspired to construct my doom.

My list of "sensitivities" includes most perfume, cologne, hand soap, body wash, deodorant, hair spray, shampoo, conditioner, dish soap, laundry soap, fabric softeners, chemical cleaners, candles and air fresheners (they're the WORST! if your house is clean, why spray—or light—migraine inducers?! what stinks if it's clean?!), and yes, even naturally occurring scents like flowers and pollen.

There are some exceptions. Not many.

Welcome to why I'm a borderline recluse. There are days when a quick trip to the grocery store can be a trial (aside: WHY must they put the floral bouquets right at the entryway?! WHY?!).

For some reason lost in the depths of my psyche, I assumed the corn plant blossoms wouldn't stink.

Boy, was I wrong.

I coughed. I spluttered. I sneezed. It was a virtual assault on my nasal cavity, and my brain was immediately stuffed.

I blame cacti and violets for this one, because they're usually the only flowering plant in my house and they are scentless.

So I had to do this:

Pretty, right?

Until my mother-in-law came over and I could show someone else who is a plant enthusiast.

Mr Lannis enjoyed a bit of schadenfreude on this one, after I'd bugged him to "check out the blooms! Check out the blooms! Check out the BLOOMS!" only to have me in a coughing, gagging fit when four (of HUNDREDS) finally deigned to open.

I took this photo with a mask on. True story.

So yeah. After my mother-in-law and I jointly marveled at the teeny tiny white flowers (and gagged on the scent—DAMN that was powerful!) I chopped off the stems and threw the suckers into green bin.

So much for that Gong Show.

Go back to just casting a shadow, corn plant—you were better at it. And I could live with you.



  1. I'm telling you, Moghedien is much more devious in cat form. ;)

  2. I'm learning just how true this is every. day. Trust. ::facepalm::

  3. EricisnotagiantsquidApril 24, 2013 at 12:08 AM

    You are allergic to corn flowers. That's what I'm getting from this. I gotta tell ya, I've been around a lot of corn. The growing kind. It's been a-MAIZE-ing. (I had to do that. I'm sorry, but damn...) Seriously. A lot of corn. And corn-like stuff like sorghum. I've never met anybody allergic to the flowers. And the picture, never seen a plant like it. You sure that's corn? You'd DIE in 13 minutes if you came here.