Wednesday, July 16, 2014

African Dwarf Freaks

It occurs to me that it's been a while since I've mentioned our aquarium.

Believe it or not, it's still here, and we're still swimming. Some of them are even original residents (though not all, as we had a hands on lesson in letting an eight year old overfeed a tank and subsequent nitrate wipe out. It's okay though, lesson learned. Just keep swimming—right?).

So. After our levels were balanced again, I took a whack of kidlets (whack = four) to the fish store, and we stupidly came home with—ready for this?

African. Dwarf. Frogs.

Three of them. Why? Oh, because the fish store says they do better in groups.

(Better in groups my arse—UPSALE! There I am, four kids in tow with sucker tattooed on my forehead.)

Yeah, I hardly believe it myself, because these buggers? Barf. They're not exactly high on the aesthetically pleasing scale for pets.

Not only that, but they're kind of stupid. They just sit there.

See him? Yep. There he is... the creeper in the tube. That's his favourite spot.

No, really. He just stares.

Creeper. You can't make this up.

Weird, right? And sometimes he pokes out a bit. But not much.

Occasionally he'll do it a bit more than others. But usually only enough to make you wonder, "WTF is he doing?!"

Of course the answer is probably smelling your soul or eating your dreams something equally unnerving. Weirdo.

And you'll think, "hm. Maybe he's coming out of there..." Nope. No, he's actually going to rest there for the next five minutes, lazily creeping out of the tube, until he eventually realizes he needs air and zips straight up to the surface—

Nah, just kidding. That looks like an action shot, right? Haha—nope! That bastard's decided to dangle himself out of that goddamn tube. Because patience is a freaking virtue or some other after school special lesson he's supposed to be teaching me the kids.

Maybe it's frog anatomy. (Possibly.)

It's not that they're slow (though cognitively it's possible... they can't seem to find their food even when I distract the guppies and tetras and it's right in front of them. Buncha tools).

No, they flit to the surface faster than I've seen any of our fish swim, and then pull a record breaking U-turn and crash nose first into the gravel bottom.

I've come to the conclusion they are not the brightest pet.

Though perhaps one of the creepiest...

"How YOU doin'?"

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